The Report

The doctor finally called with the report of last Friday's ct scan. It showed the cancer has not been diminished by the chemo. The lungs are 'stable' but the tumors in the liver and adrenal glands have enlarged. It is the oncologist conclusion that more chemo would not be effective either.

So hospice has been contacted and will be here Thursday morning. (The Medicare Hospice Benefit was inacted by Congress the year our son was born. That has nothing to do with anything. I find little factoids interesting.) For this I am very thankful.

Today was a big day of visits which while pleasant, were exhausting. He got to see his oldest grandson and some great-grand kids though he hadn't the strength to interact as he would have liked. He fell asleep around dinner time and slept restlessly, waking often. When I asked what he needed or how he was, he didn't really answer. He hasn't eaten much at all the last couple days. Tonight I coaxed him to try a little liquids. After about 2 ounces, he said 'no more' and couldn't articulate what or why. Whether it bothered his stomach, or made him nauseous, I'm not sure. This evening he has awakened every couple of hours wanting to make a trip to the bathroom, but doesn't put out much at all. It's getting more difficult for us to get him up and though he has been getting there with a walker, the last couple of times we thought we would need to carry him. It is now going on midnight and Jonathan and I have discussed whether he will make it through the night. We will run shifts to stay up and near him.

Of course I selfishly hope for him to hold on just a little longer, and Jonathan didn't get to go through all the old photos and videos with him that he wanted. I am so thankful that we have him at home and that he has had no pain. I am so thankful that we both have Romans 8 written on our hearts and know with unwavering assurance that "..if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. "

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ?"

"For I am convinced that
neither death,
nor life,
nor angels,
nor principalities,
nor present things,
nor future things,
nor powers,
nor height,
nor depth,
nor any other creature
will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."